‘They’ll be okay’
“I was immediately drawn in, and thought it was beautiful in look and feel but above all, pitched so well in tone and content – readable but not dumbing down the subtlety or complexities of relating. Such a great structure around those 15 topics – as it means a parent isn’t swamped – you just go to the one you are worried about. I am finding my thoughts extended and understanding deepened by reading it. It’s really WELL DONE!”
“They’ll be Okay is an essential parents’ toolkit. Positive and practical. It is packed with good advice for parenting through all your child’s ages and stages.”
“I wish that I could have read this book when my boy was a young lad. As an adoptive parent of a 9-year-old, I laboured hard to be a supportive dad. In They’ll be okay – 15 conversations to help your child through troubled times, leading psychologist Collett Smart gives today’s parents the toolkit they need to handle the difficult conversations with young people growing up in our media-saturated times.
There are lots of suggestions for conversation starters, truly the hardest part of any interaction with a young person. Collett also has ideas about how to keep difficult discussions alive and how to make them conversations rather than a rant by the older person. There is both art and science in her ideas.
She begins with talking about the very young and explores many different aspects of the staying-safe message. At the same time, there is a lot here that will still be useful for you when your children are in their 20s. After all, being a parent is a very long-term commitment.
The book is rich in detail and Collett sensibly completes each chapter with a summary of key points. These summaries are the real gold of the book. If you are a time-poor parent, and who isn’t, then this book can set you on the good path to helping your child’s problems with only a couple of minutes’ preparation. This is truly the recipe for ensuring that your kids will “be okay”.”
“Collett Smart has written the perfect book for parents and caregivers of millennials. It is a challenging time for tweens and teenagers as they try to cope with the unchartered waters of social media and the internet. However, with this remarkable, well-written and informative book, adults can be reassured they will have accurate and research-based information at their finger tips. Well done Collett! A much needed book for our times.”
“Are you a parent or teacher looking for a comprehensive, readable, evidence-based resource for guiding teens/tweens in today’s sexualized environment? Order this book. ‘THE’LL be OKAY’ is brimming with awkward subjects and actual questions from teens/tweens. Smart supplies practical tips for dealing with them. More importantly, she models a philosophy and approach that a reader can integrate with ease. By the end of the book, parental feelings of helplessness are likely to diminish substantially, replaced by confidence and a reliable internal gyroscope.
Honest and factual, They’ll Be Okay urges thoughtful dialogue with teens/tweens as a way to help them understand their love-worthiness, and develop the ability to love others. Parents play a critically important role in providing sex/porn/intimacy education to their children…even in an era where they may have to check an online slang dictionary before they can comprehend their offspring’s questions.
Smart assures us that sexual feelings are normal, and emphasizes that what kids do with those feelings is what matters. “Teens are told, ‘Have sex when you are ready!’ but we forget to teach them to question how to be certain that the person they are with is also ready.” Smart urges kids to reflect on, and set, their boundaries in advance of encounters, and to discuss how they will know what a partner’s boundaries are.
Some of the tips Smart emphasizes are: never shaming kids for their curiosity or errors, modeling healthy behaviors, and inducing critical thinking and forethought. She furnishes specific tips and questions that parents and teachers can use with teens/tweens, such as: “What do you think that picture is trying to make you think/feel?” “What do you think a person in real life would feel if this happened to them?” She also shares specific phrases kids can use to stand up for those being bullied.
Smart urges parents and schools to recognize that porn exposure is inevitable and toxic, as well as furnishing ways they can ready themselves and their charges. She notes, “Discussions about pornography fit easily into programs on a healthy digital diet or digital citizenship, alcohol and binge drinking, family violence and bullying.”
“Covering the key issues faced by children and young people, Collett provides brilliant insight and strategies to inspire conversations that will set kids up for life. Collett encourages parents and carers to step up through clearly articulating values, modelling respect, leading communication by example, and being attune to what’s going on for our kids in order to help them through their inevitable challenges. A must read for anyone raising children, tweens or teens – applying the principals in ‘THEY’LL be OKAY’ is bound to bring positive outcomes for the whole family.”